That's NOT a Ménage Romance!

You may not know this about me, but I love menage romance. I love it so much that I get kinda grumpy when I read a love triangle that would sooo make a better menage!

I'm looking at you Twilight.

There's just something about being forced to choose between two people you love that doesn't seem romantic to me at all. Yes, it happens in real life. Yes, a lot of people aren't into sharing.

And some people enjoy the angst and drama of a love triangle in fiction. You can cheer for the heroine to pick the 'right' guy, enjoy all the attention she's getting, and be happy you're not in that mess yourself.

Not my thing, but I get the appeal. A story like that can still have a Happily Ever After for all. Usually the third guy is really an asshole anyway, so no big deal him fading into the background.

But if you want to label a book as a ménage romance, at no point should any of the partners be stuffed away like a sex toy you're done using. If they're not part of the relationship in the end, it's not a ménage romance.

Now, I'm not trying to tell anyone how to write. I've read great books that made me grumble a little, where there was a hot threesome, cuddling, and then the story ended all monogamous. I was prepared because the story was always about those two characters, and they just like to party.

But look at it this way. Would you consider it a romance if you reached the end and the hero died?

Wait, that's a thing too now? But that's not a ROMANCE! It's a love story. A tragedy! Like Romeo and Juliet!

*sigh*

Ok, a rant for another day. Let's just say, as a reader, if I'm looking for a menage I need it to end as a menage. Other genres have certain expectations. Like a happy ending or at least a happy-for-now.

The appeal of a long lasting, poly relationship, is the idea of falling

in love with more than one person and being able to have it all. There will be struggles, like there are in real life. But it WORKS in real life. There are happy poly relationships out there. And if you're not aware of that, you probably shouldn't be writing menage.

I did say write what you want though, right?

Absolutely. But label it something else. I'm begging you!

I grabbed a menage not long ago that crushed me. Like, not in a good way. My trust was completely destroyed because I was naive enough to believe a review would have mentioned if one of the heroes, in a story labeled a menage romance, was going to DIE.

I checked. Not for that, obviously, since it didn't occur to me. What I WAS looking for was any indication that the story didn't end as a menage.

Didn't find anything. COOL!

Yeah...not cool at all. This story was called sexy. Dark. Erotic.

It had a tragic ending that felt glossed over. The 2nd guy was inconvenient. All of a sudden he was a horrible person, so killing him off was no big deal.

I kept waiting for him to come back.

To be okay.

He was playing dead, right? There had to be some explanation for what had just gone down....

Props to the author, because it was well written. Aside from the contrived removal of the spare, there was suspense, nicely developed characters, and an interesting storyline.

Strangely enough, that same book is now labeled suspense.

*smh*

I get it. Some authors seem to be doing very well writing menage and you want in on that. Kinky sex with multiple partners! You can now label your book MFM, MM, MF, MMMMFFFF, ALL THE FUCKING HAPPENS HERE!!!!

*pssst* You still didn't write a menage romance. Not if it ends with MF.

Not as far as I'm concerned anyway. I'm a reader who loves the genre. So I'll share books that I think my readers will enjoy.

And if they ask me, I'll tell them to avoid any book trying to jump on the imaginary band wagon like the plague.

Seriously, you want to hop on a trend? Try ANY of the MF ones. Make your book a Stepbrother Bear Motorcycle Billionaire who owns a dinosaur.

But leave our menage alone!